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Andy Griffith
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Romeo and Juliet (From 'Comedy Caravan')
the story I want to tell you, here is about Romeo and Juliet.
Now their is a real thing.
It's a story about how this boy and girl was in love of one another, don't you see
it is.
And everything would've been all right for'em accept that there daddies didn't get along.
They didn't.
And when the play opened Juliet's daddy is throwin' this big, expensive ball and he invited the whole town to be there, but he didn't invite none of Romeo's people to come.
And his buddies learn't of it, and they put him up to a slippyn on a costume.
And, slippyn in at this party.
And he was a spunky kind of a boy and he done it.
He done it and everything was a goin' good until all of the sudden, this girl Juliet come down the stairs and he was so struck by her that he gave a soliloquy right there.
They done that a lot back in those days He did and it wasn't about bein' or not bein'.
It was about doin' or not doin'.
Well, the dues won out over the don'ts and so what he'd done, he was he got her by the hand and started to take her out into the yard and we'll never know what it was they was going to do out there.
We won't because this feller Tidbolt recognized Romeo for who he was and come up on him.
A tryin' to pick a fight with him, but because Juliet's daddy, he didn't want no bloodshed, right there in his living room.
He didn't.
So all he done was run Romeo off, but'a Romeo didn't go straight home
no, he didn't.
He went out and hid in the backyard till everybody left the party and then when they'd all went.
He popped up and looked around.
, and he sees this light come on a way off yonder, and he says to himself, he says heark by what light does yon wind'er shines.
He did.
And let me tell ya Juliet stepped out of her bedroom wind'er on to this stoop and a she give a soliloquy
she did friends and somewhere in somewhere.
She says Romeo, Romeo, where forth art thou Romeo
and he popped up and says I'm right cheer.
Well, as it happened, there was this great big pea vine
a
Growin up to where she was astand-in and so he clumb up it
he clumb up it
and that is where they had that balcony scene.
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They hadn't been there for just a few minutes till he asked her to marry me eim and that shows that he was an honorable boy above all,
well she says when, and he says now, at that shows that he wasn't up there for no light, cortin.
He wanted to get on with it.
Back then, the reason everybody lived in castles was there was so many of them to put up at night where well there were so many of them there that they had to keep a preacher on duty day and night.
Fella friar Lawrence was his name.
And so Romeo and Juliet.
They went downstairs and woke him up and told him what it was that they wanted to do and he thought that that was all right.
So he married em right there.
But then there was a question of where they were going to spend the night things being how it was and all,
and a friar Lawrence told Romeo he should go on home that night and a Romeo.
He didn't take to it too hot.
He didn't, but he did and he went on home that and then Romeo thought that he better go off and lay low until things cooled off.
And while he was calling friends Juliet's mama took a gret notion that Juliet ought to get married and then she was in a bind.
She was because she didn't want to husbands because she figured Romeo would be enough to take care of by his self
and so she went back down to friar Lawrence to see what it was she ought to do and he mixture up a drink and she drunk it and she felt out right there across the bed, and everybody thought she was dead.
And they had this big pretty funeral and laid her out in this family tomb and all.
And before friar Lawrence take it to Romeo and tell him that she wasn't really dead.
Some of them mean boys that live in that town got to Romeo and said she was dead.
And he figured life didn't hold nothing for him and so he went out and got him this big can of lie to drink and so he went over to this tomb where she was laid out and he opened the door of it.
Oh my love, oh, my wife he did.
And he went in and he drunk the lie and he kissed her and he said with this kiss die and she felt out across to her there.
And a
he was a big boy for his age.
He was in the impact of him falling on her woke her up and she woke up and didn't know what was going on and she looked there and so Romeo allaying their and he was dead.
And then she figured life didn't hold nothing for her, so she grabbed his pocket knife out and run it into herself and she expired.
She did friends.
And the moral of it is if you've got a boy that courts your girl that you don't like or the other way around.
If you don't want the expense of a double funeral on ya, the best thing for you to do so.
is to Let them have a cheap wedding
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